The Commandments Of Clubbing

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crowd in club

Have you found yourself getting bored of hitting the same old haunts on a Friday and Saturday night, and thinking that the act of going out is completely overrated now? Maybe you’re just hitting the wrong places now? Maybe you’re not proving successful with your endeavours, and maybe you need a makeover of sorts? Let’s reassess your nightclub etiquette, follow these simple tips and you’ll definitely improve a normal night out.

Rule #1: Don’t Stand Around!

If you’re out on the hunt for potential suitors or you’re just after a good time, there is nothing more off-putting than seeing someone stood around. They look awkward! Do yourself a favour, and stop standing around in clubs, because it just makes you look really lonely, even when you’re in a group. Get a table, and it will do wonders for you. It’s a big part of the more upmarket clubs now, and in many bars, you can book a table like at Project London and get table service. It’s a much better way to make you look relaxed and, therefore, attractive!  The most attractive people don’t look needy and eager, so do everyone a favour and sit down!
drinks sign

Rule #2: Don’t Drink Pints!

You’re trying to make yourself look on the side of cool? Then put down the pint of old man ale, even James Bond didn’t drink pints. Pints don’t look trendy at all, and likewise, don’t you dare go for cocktail with the umbrella! Shorts and that’s it! Whisky, gin, martini, and always make it a single, straight, with ice. You don’t need to show off your prowess by downing as much hard liquor as you can. The best men drink shorts and drink them slowly. So, sip your drink. Make it last, but also don’t nurse it.

man in blue shirt coffee

Rule #3: Look At Your Clothes

Are you wearing clothes that are suitable for your age? If you’re in your early 30s wearing a cap to the side and professing your love for Stormzy, it looks like you’re trying too hard! So, shirts are the first port of call. A nice Oxford shirt is a simple option and trendy. But make sure that the shoes fit the style, you don’t want to be wearing trainers when you’ve made the effort everywhere else! Brogues or Cuban Heels will be fine. And keep your beard trimmed while we’re on the topic. If you have to go hipster-straggly, get some beard balm and keep it at a medium length.

festival dancers

Rule #4: Go To Places Appropriate For Your Age

There are always people who stick out like a sore thumb in certain clubs, mainly because they are the oldest one there. There is nothing worse than the 40-year old businessman throwing shapes on the dance floor on a Friday night, and you can tell to an extent by the tie and, to an even bigger extent, the quasi-1970s shapes that are being thrown, that he isn’t going to have a successful night. Follow these rules and go forth and enjoy thyself!

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Marcus, 29, Manchester, UK. Things I love: Family, Friends, My Dog Harry, Sport, Travel, Chocolate, Technology, The Outdoors, Music, Films and More Chocolate. Thanks for stopping by.
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